Mental resources like gratitude or courage can match your basic needs. This four-step HEAL Framework will help you to develop your inner strength and become more resilient in the face of challenges.
I camped with my friend Bob near Sequoia National Park in the winter of one year. We were tired but needed to set up camp after slogging through deep snow.
Bob began to shiver uncontrollably as the temperature dropped rapidly. He was in the early stages of hypothermia after he had spent so much energy. We had to hurry and set up the tent. Then we got into our sleeping bags. We lit the stove. We drank hot water. And ate hot food. Soon Bob’s teeth stopped chirping.
We were lucky to have just enough resilience to make this adventure successful. We could keep going with mental resources such as calmness, courage, and grit when the temperatures dropped below freezing. These are all resources that we can use in our lives to overcome obstacles and cope with challenges.
How do we cultivate these inner resources? Knowing how to transform passing experiences into internal resources built into our brains is essential. This skill, called positive neuroplasticity, is taught in my new book, Resistant: How to Develop an Unshakable Foundation of Calmness, Strength, and Happiness, written by Forrest Hanson.
Changing your brain is possible, but it won’t happen overnight. You have to work it like you would a muscle. You will feel better as you grow more resilient to life’s challenges.
Twelve Resources for Resilience
Our ancient evolutionary history has shaped three fundamental human needs: safety, satisfaction, and connection. Brains are unchanged, even though our lives have changed dramatically over the past 200,000 years. Our brains still contain the following:- The neural machinery that allowed our ancestors to satisfy their needs for safety and satisfaction through shelter.
- Obtaining food.
- Bonding with other people.
- Compassion: To be sensitive to others’ burdens, suffering, and our own. This includes the desire to assist in these situations if possible.
- Grit Being tenacious and resourceful.
- Calm A sense of emotional balance and capability when faced with threats.
- Courage: Standing up for yourself and others, even if you are not the one to do so.
- Mindfulness: Being present at the moment as it is. This is different from daydreaming or meditating.
- Gratitude: Feeling good and appreciating what is already there.
- Motivation Pursuing Opportunities in the Face of Challenges
- Aspiration Achieving results that we value.
- Growing and developing: Growing and creating is a process that allows us to cultivate our other strengths.
- Confidence: Feeling a sense that you are valued, deserving, and confident.
- Intimacy: Being open to knowing others and being known yourself.
- Generosity Giving through compassion, altruism, and forgiveness.
- What would it do for me if I was more aware of this in these times?
- What inner strengths can I use to stay calm, loving, and content when facing this challenge?
- What would you have done differently if this problem had started in the past?
- What is it that I want to experience?
Four Steps to Healing
Answering these questions will help you determine the resources you need to overcome your challenge. Follow my HEALTH Framework to develop this resource into a permanent strength that is hardwired in your brain.- Have a positive experience
- Enrich it
- Absorb it
- Link
- Enjoy a positive experience
- Enrich it
- Lengthen it. Please keep it going for at least five, ten, or more seconds. The more neurons that fire together, the longer they tend to connect. Focus on the experience, protect it from distractions, and return to it if you get distracted.
- Make it louder. Let it fill your head. Increase the volume of your breathing, or get a bit excited.
- Extend it. Take note of other aspects. If you have a helpful idea, for example, notice any related sensations or feelings.
- Refresh it. Your brain is designed to be a novelty detector. It will teach new things and unexpected experiences. Find out what is interesting or surprising in an incident. Imagine you’re experiencing it for the first time.
- Learn from the things that are important to you. We can learn a lot by learning about what is personal. Consider why you value the experience, what it means, and how you could benefit from it.
- Absorb it
- You must intend to receive the experience. Choose to experience it.
- Feel it sinking in. Imagine the experience as a soothing balm or a precious jewel placed into your treasure chest. Allow it to become part of you.
- Reward yourself. Listen to what is pleasant, reassuring, or helpful about the experience. This will increase the activity of the two neurotransmitter systems–dopamine and norepinephrine. The experience will be marked as “keeper.”
- Click here to link it.
