How to maintain a strong bond with your teenager
IntroductionTeenagers are the most difficult age group to parent. They’re still learning how to be an adult and they often act like children. But when you get past these obstacles, it’s possible to maintain a strong bond with your teenager.
Be available and responsive.It’s important to be available and responsive. Your teenager may not want to talk about things, but if they do open up with you, it can be an opportunity for both of you to have a deeper understanding of each other. Be sure that your teen knows that you are there for them–even if they don’t want or need anything from us as adults. It’s okay if we don’t always understand what our teenagers are feeling and thinking; sometimes it takes a few tries before we get the hang of this stuff! But when we listen closely and really try our best to understand them (and ourselves), then there is often room for improvement on both sides of their relationship.”
Be consistent in your parenting style and beliefs.It’s important to be consistent in your parenting style and beliefs. If you change your mind, it can confuse your teenager and lead them to feel like they don’t know what to expect from you. It’s also important not to get mad when your teen does something you don’t like, but don’t let it slide either–and make sure that any punishment fits the crime (and is reasonable). Your relationship with them will suffer if they feel like their parents are unfair or inconsistent about rules and consequences!
Do not be afraid to set rules and consequences.
- Set rules and consequences.
- Make sure your teen understands the rules and consequences, and that they are fair and reasonable.
- Follow through with the consequences when needed.
Don’t be afraid to be tough, but don’t be mean.Don’t be afraid to be tough, but don’t be mean. Your child needs to know that you are in control of the relationship and that they are accountable for their actions. It is important for them to understand this so that when they do something wrong it does not blow up into a huge fight between you two! A good rule of thumb here is “don’t make excuses.” If your teenager is acting out because he or she doesn’t want anything from you (i.e., love), then there’s nothing else for him or her but to act up–so don’t give in!
Make sure you are always thinking about your teen’s needs, but also what is best for them as a person.It’s important to remember that you are not the only one in charge of your teen’s life. Your child has a brain and a heart, just like you. They may be emotional or angry about something in their life and it’s not fair for you to make them feel bad about it without also making sure that they get help dealing with the issue. But at the same time, it may be hard as a parent because sometimes parents want so much more than kids do! So if there is something that needs fixing in their life–whether it be homework assignments or relationships problems–you need to try really hard not only think about how they feel but also think about what would be best for them as an individual person (and not just as part of your family unit).
Establish positive behaviors as rewards for good behavior and correct bad behavior with firm limits, consequences and discipline in a loving way.Establishing positive behaviors as rewards for good behavior and correcting bad behavior with firm limits, consequences and discipline in a loving way. Rewards for good behavior are a great way to encourage your teenager to shape up and stay on track. You can use praise, rewards and incentives like:
- Gift cards (like Amazon or iTunes)
- Special outings with friends or family members (if they’re willing to go)
- Movie tickets or concert tickets
It takes time and hard work, but it’s worth it!It takes time and hard work, but it’s worth it! The first step is to get comfortable with your teenager. You need to be patient, as this may take some time and effort on both your parts. Once you feel like you have a good foundation of trust built up between the two of you (and your teen), then you can start working towards strengthening the bond that exists between yourselves. The key thing here is not only doing things together as a family unit but also doing them individually so that they feel like they’re growing up in an environment where they can develop their own interests while also still being cared for by both parents/siblings/grandparents etc., which will help strengthen their sense of belongingness within this group as well as make them less likely to run away from home because they’re just too homesick!
Focus on the positives.To maintain a strong bond with your teenager, you’ll need to focus on the positives. Your teenager is still learning and growing in so many ways, so it’s important that you focus on what they do well rather than what they don’t do. Your goal should be to celebrate their accomplishments and give them praise for how well they’ve done something or behave in a way that benefits everyone involved (including yourself). For example: if your 16-year-old son comes home from school with straight As on his report card, tell him how proud of him you are! If he gets good grades because he spent all weekend studying for tests instead of hanging out with friends, acknowledge that too! And if he does both things at once–well then we can talk about that later 😉
Focus less on what’s good for your child and more on what’s good for you.Your children are growing up, and you need to let them know that it’s okay for them to be different from the way you were at their age. This doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself down or make fun of them; it just means being honest about your own experiences in life and how those shaped who you became as a parent. Even though it might feel like your teenager is moving away from home more than ever before, don’t forget that these changes can also be good ones! You may feel like they’ve left behind all the things that made growing up easier–but this isn’t true! Instead of worrying about how much time your child spends with friends or what he/she eats for lunch every day (or even where he sleeps), focus on what makes them happy: hanging out at school with his friends; getting an A+ on a test; writing an essay about something interesting happening in class…
Make sure to monitor your own moods and physical state.You should also make sure to monitor your own moods and physical state. If you’re feeling stressed, try to take breaks from your teenager’s company by taking a walk or going for a run. Make sure that you eat healthy meals and get plenty of sleep each night. Avoid caffeine (coffee, energy drinks) and alcohol as much as possible–these two can make it harder for teens to regulate their emotions. Avoid stressful situations whenever possible; if your teen has been in an accident, it might be best for both of you if he/she stays at home rather than asking questions about what happened out in public places like restaurants or malls where there could be other people around who might overhear their conversation!
Talk about yourself first.
- Be honest about your feelings.
- Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings.
- Prepare yourself to listen before you respond.
- Don’t expect your teenager to be there for you all the time, but don’t let that stop you from talking with them regularly or at least having an open dialogue with them (and yourself).
Set boundaries with your child and stick to them, even if it means losing a friend.
- Set boundaries and stick to them.
- Don’t be afraid to discipline your child, even if it means losing a friend.
- Don’t be afraid of being firm with them when they are doing things that you don’t like or think are not appropriate behavior for their age level and maturity level.
Don’t take everything personally.One of the best ways to maintain a strong bond with your teenager is by not taking everything personally. It’s important for you to understand that no matter how much they mess up, it doesn’t mean you should take their actions too seriously. If your teen comes home late from school on Friday night and says he had to stay late at work, don’t feel bad about them having extra time because he didn’t have enough money in his bank account and couldn’t afford lunch. Your child will learn how to manage their finances over time–and if they’re working hard at school or other extracurricular activities, they’re probably doing just fine!
Take things slow when it comes to changes in routines or plans for the future.
- Take things slow when it comes to changes in routines or plans for the future.
- Don’t rush into things. A change that is too sudden can be overwhelming and cause your teenager to feel out of control and unable to cope with the change. You should approach these changes with a plan, and make sure that your teen knows what’s coming up so they can adjust accordingly if needed (for example: “I’m going away for a few days next week, but I’ll be back on Friday!”).
- Don’t overwhelm your teen with too many changes at once as this may cause them stress and confusion over whether this is just one more thing out of the blue or actually relevant to current circumstances–and ultimately lessens their ability to adapt quickly!
Think about how you can help your child with their problems, not just yours.Listen to your child. Don’t just listen to what they say, but also how they say it. This can help you figure out what their needs are and how best to meet them. Try not to fix the problem for them–that’s not your job! It’s okay if you don’t know the answer yourself; instead, let them know that there are people who can help them out with their problems if necessary (like a friend or family member).
You can maintain a strong relationship with your teenager by keeping talking and being there for each other
- Talk to your teenager.
- Be there for them.
- Be a good listener.
- Don’t be afraid to set rules and consequences if needed, but don’t be mean either (this goes both ways).